Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Look What the Cat Dragged In


It seems that even my cat Elmo has caught on to the "go green" and "save the earth" trends.

While he used to bring the Fresh Catch of the Week straight to our door (which varied between birds, rabbits, moles and mice, depending on the season), he too has begun to fear the endangerment of some of America's most beloved warm-blooded pests. Sometimes he still deems a particularly enticing creature worthy of death, but now he has taken on a more honorable cause.

Serving as a constant reminder of the disgraceful amounts of waste disposed in this country, he has begun bringing home trash. Socks, rags, medical prescriptions-- every article of garbage comes with its own unique story. And a silent but judgmental plea from Elmo to employ the 3 R's. Either that or he has some suggestions on how we can better our lives through material goods.

Take his latest gifts, for example. Is his take home message a desperate plea or a helpful hint?


Lawn care service sign: "Fertilizers from these guys pollute the grass I (shouldn't) eat and the creek water I (shouldn't) drink" OR
"The grass is definitely greener on the neighbors' side of the fence" ?

Spam/scam mail: "Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes wastes time and paper" OR
"Fill this sucker out so I can finally live the life I deserve" ?

Paper towel: "A tree died so you could dry your hands" OR
"You probably ought to wash your hands more often" ?

Styrofoam steak container: "This stuff takes years to decompose, not the mention the risk of cancer caused by eating red meat!" OR
"MORE STEAK" ?

Maybe I could have better spent my time finding solutions to these problems rather than using up an hour to personify my cat's behaviors, but I'm happy to know he cares. Of course, a really caring pet would spare no expense to please his owner.

The next step is to train him to identify cash, rare metals and designer logos.

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