They'll go with you to the bathroom. They'll pick you up from bizarre locations in the middle of the night. They'll call you out on being a pompous jerk.
And, as I learned this weekend, good friends will not only pee with you, but also pee on you.
Yes, I was stung by a jellyfish on Sunday. I get shivers of pain just thinking about it. Due to my nonexistent experience with these stings prior to several days ago, I thought that that pee was key to recovery. (That really rolls off the tongue nicely. Perhaps I should write public service announcements.)
As one of my friends squatted over my arm in the middle of a public beach, I was struck by her willingness to wash away her sense of decorum with the tide. Then, as my other friend poured a water bottle of her own pee onto my swelling arm, I was primarily impressed with the sheer volume of her contribution. My friends are fearless and generous.
I suppose that the pee friendship test is not practical for any situation other than the unique one in which I was involved. I guess it's just the fact that they would, if they needed to, which reassures me.
As a post script, I will say that I read online that the effectiveness of peeing on a jellyfish sting is mostly determined by the pH of the individual's pee, so vinegar is still the best bet. I would also highly recommend educating yourself before becoming actively involved in ocean water sports.
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